BECOME HR CERTIFIED

Classes to prepare for the SPHR/PHR Certification Exam will begin on Tuesday, September 9, 2008 and will be held every Tuesday through November 25, 2008 from 6 to 9 p.m.

4237 Salisbury Rd, Bld 1, Suite 112
Jacksonville, FL 32216

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The economy is in the pits and things are not looking good for a number of businesses.  So it is time now to add a little bright spot to the doom and gloom forecasts.  Below are a few anecdotes from people in the working world.

• A man gets fired for not passing a drug test and filed for unemployment which was declined. He appealed the decision. His defense was that the employer knew he was doing drugs all along, so it was their fault for hiring him in the first place. By the way, the appeals referee found in favor of the employer.  Common sense may still be alive in some places.

• During a business slowdown, an employee’s hours were reduced. He was still working 40 hours per week, but was no longer working overtime.  He files for unemployment because his hours were reduced. The unemployment office sends the required paper work to the employer, but there is no box to check on the unemployment form for “still employed full time.”  The employer had to state such in the remarks section.  Will the fact that no box was checked on the form create a wave of confusion at the unemployment office?  Only time will tell.

• A press operator gets fired for unsatisfactory work performance.  The next day, he comes into the human resources office with a hat, glasses and a fake mustache stating that he heard there was a job opening and he has experience as a press operator.

• To set this up, a woman asked for time off to attend a birthday celebration.  The request was denied because other employees already had the same day off.  The woman tried to appeal to her supervisor why she should be granted the day off. The conversation went something like this:

Woman:        I asked for the day off two weeks ago.  Why can’t I take the time off?
Supervisor:   The time off request had not been approved.  Other employees requested the time off months ago.
Woman:        What if I called in sick that day?
Supervisor:   You would be subject to disciplinary action.
Woman:        What would happen if my grandmother died? 
Supervisor:   That’s not the issue. You told me you were going to a birthday celebration, so you are expected to come to work that day. 
Woman:        Well my grandmother could die.
Supervisor:   Yes she could, but that is not the reason you asked for the day off.
Woman:        My grandmother is 88 years old and she could possibly die.
Supervisor:   Let me know if your grandmother dies, but if this happens I will need proof.
Woman (crying): My grandmother will probably die soon and you don’t even care.

• Below are excerpts for a cover letter from an applicant:

“In my past employment, I did experience some lack of development and experience issues as the employers were large and well known who had many young people of superstar caliber to choose from. … They seemed to get work without much trouble while I seemed to need to ask and be hopeful.  I also had trouble with my mother as she was not very supportive or interested in my life situation. She may have been hostile as well. As a result, I found myself needing to behave properly until it was time to leave these employers.

In addition, my most recent employer was bizarre. The owner was a former criminal and he may still have these problems.  He also may have been a racist as I saw him put a young black woman in a back room with flies, roaches and rats. He later put her in an adjacent room to mine where she could kind of see me all day. Due to my young man’s situation still and lack of experience and not being married, I did conclude that my boss may have some sexual harassment issues. …Because of my young man’s body type, I did find myself in a contradiction as I seem to have trouble with young women understanding my body the wrong way. Their bodies are built to unfortunately understand the wrong sexual thing.  In summary, I may need to be around people who I am more immune to such as older woman or most men. I can be reached at the above address or telephone number if you would like to discuss any employment opportunities.”

Yeah. Wait by your telephone. We’ll call you when we need you.